My beloved father who is currently 85 has been slowly dying from COPD.  Recently he was diagnosed with lung cancer as well as advanced COPD and given less than six months to live.  I reached out to my Sufi community for prayers and practices that we can do for other people who are dying or who have already passed away.

Here is a list of suggestions of how you can help the dead and the dying.

1. Call Sidi and tell him you want to make a sacrifice on behalf of the other person.  Sidi will usually ask you for $500 for the sacrifice, but that amount may be different for each person.  Sidi will then make prayers for the person you called about (later after you are off the phone) to help them with their transition.  He will tell you to where to send the money.  If it is the Shadduli Center, click here and you will be taken to a donation page.  If it is the Shadhiliyya Sufi Center, click here.  Both organizations are nonprofits and donations are tax deductible.  Now that Sidi has passed away, you can make a donation through the Shadduli Center and just specify what the moneyis for.
2. Ibn ‘Arabi recommended the practice of reciting “la ilaha illa llah” 70,000 times for yourself to “preserve yourself from fire”.  He said through this practice, God will grant protection from the fire of hell either for yourself, or for the person for whom you recite the formula.  Ibn ‘Arabi did this for one of his wives when she died and also for a man who had made a practice of cursing Ibn ‘Arabi 10 times every time he prayed.  ‘Arabi went to this man’s funeral and then sat facing the qibla and did the 70,000 recitations, not getting up except to do the ritual prayers. He didn’t even get up to eat or drink.  He made a commitment to pray for this man until he knew that Allah had pardoned him.  70,000 times is a lot of recitations!  What I have done in the past is to do 1,000 a day for 70 days to make it more manageable. A suggestion for an easier way to do the 70,000 reps if you really can’t use your beads to count is to time yourself.  I timed myself, using the beads for counting, to see how long it took me to do a 1,000 repetitions.  Then I could just use that amount of time to do it while I’m driving, at work, or grocery shopping, etc.  It’s great to do over your food while cooking.   It is always much better to use your beads if you can, but it is a  way you can still get your 1000 reps in a day when you just can’t use your beads.   Each time you use your beads during your prayers, you infuse the beads with the Quality/Prayer you are saying while using them.  It makes them carry a stronger and stronger transmission of that energy over time.  So please use your beads if you are able.   For those of you who would like to have 70,000 recitations made for you or for loved ones, and you don’t have the time to do them yourself, I offer that as a service for a fee. Please feel free to email me for details about this service.
3.  Recite Surah 36 from the Qur’an,  Ya Sin. the Prophet, peace be upon him, encouraged us to read it for those who are dying as it can help.
4. Recite Surah Ikhlas 11 times.  You can read here to understand why this is an important prayer.
5. Reciting Surah Al-Mulk makes the life in the grave easier.
6.  I have heard that if you pray for them in the graveyard at their grave, he/she and the other souls there can hear your prayers and it can bring great peace.
7. It would be a great blessing to help him establish some kind of charitable donation or organization that would continue giving charity after their death, as those good actions will benefit them both in this life and the next.
8. Reciting “astaghfiru allah al-’dhim wa atubu ilayhi” (See the Al Wird practice.) on behalf of the person – people do a  lot of work wrapping up unfinished business at the end, and making tawba is part of that work.  Supporting them in that might make it go more smoothly.
9. Before death and right after, with right hand on their heart and left on the top of the head, recite sura al-Ikhlas 3x, sura al-Falaq 3x, sura an-Nas 3x (See 4 Quls) and then al-Fatihah 3x in their right ear.
10. Neil Douglas-Klotz in his book, “The Sufi Book of Life”, recommends reciting the Quality, Ad-Darr, to help reflect on the bigger picture of any pain, loss, or need you feel in the moment.
11. David Hawkins’ book, “Letting Go”, teaches how to let go of any beliefs that we have that are causing us pain.  He says to surrender a feeling by allowing it to be there without condemning. judging, or resenting it.  Just look at it, observe it, allow it to be felt without trying to change it.  Just love it.  Sometimes we need to discover the pay off we get from hanging onto a negative feeling/belief before the pain will leave.
12. The very last chapters of The Ocean of the Mercy tells of the death of the Prophet Muhammad (SAWS).  Reading it may bring comfort.
13. During one of his teleclasses, Ibrahim Jaffe, may Allah be pleased with him, shared with us a story about his father’s death.  Ibrahim described spending about three days, maybe a week, working with the Divine Names for his dad.  Ibrahim said he went through the list of the 99 Names, and spent some time working with each of the Qualities, for his father.   As Ibrahim was sharing this experience with us on the call, it was quite beautiful.  It was my sense that his father’s soul shifted profoundly through this deep praying, Alhamdulillah. 
14. You could also make a special dua’ by reciting the Fatiha 40 times, followed by Surah 112, (Ikhlas) 70 times, followed by praying for the Prophet and his family, salla’llahu alayhi wa sallim, followed by prayers for our guide Sidi Muhammad.
15. And you can recite a Juz of the Qur’an, and ask Allah to give the benefits of that recitation to person who died.
16. Say Janazah al-gha’ibeen, the Funeral Prayer
    The Funeral Prayer-Salat ul-.Janazah
    1) Intend in your heart to perform the funeral prayer. 2) Raise your hands to ear level and say the Fatiha: A ‘UDhU BI-LLAHI MIN AShAYTAN IR-RAJIM BISMI-LLAH IR-RAHMAN IR-RAHIM; AL-HAMDU LI-LLAHI RABBIL-‘ALAMIN; AR-RAHMAN IR-RAHIM; MALIKI Y0WM ID-DIN; IYYAKA N’ABUDU WA IYYAKA NASTA’IN; IHDINA SIRATAL-MUSTAQIM; SIRAT AL-LADhlNA AN’AMTA ‘ALAYHIM; GhAYRIL MAGhDUBI ‘ALAYHIM; WA LA DAAALIN; AMINI
    I seek refuge in Allah from the rejected shaytan; In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful, Gracious; All Praise is due to Allah, Lord of all the Worlds; The Universally Merciful, Singularly Compassionate; King of the Day of Judgment; You alone we worship, You alone we ask for help; Guide us on the Straight way; The way of those whom you’ve blessed; Not of those upon whom is your wrath; Or those who are astray Amen.
    3) Raise your hands to ear level and say the Salatul-Ibrahim: ALLAHUMMA SALLI ‘ALA SAYYIDINA MUHAMMADIN; WA ‘ALA ALI SAYYIDINA MUHAMMADIN; ‘ KAMA SALLAYTA ‘ALA SAYYIDINA IBRAHIM; WA ALA ALI SAYYIDINA IBRAHIM; ALLAHUMMA BARAKTA_’ALA SAYYIDINA MUHAMMADIN; WA ‘ALA ALI SAYYIDINA MUHAMMADIN; KAMA BARAKTA ALA SAYYIDINA IBRAHIM; WA ‘ALA ALI SAYYIDINA IBRAHIM; FIL-‘ALAMIN; INNAKA HAMlDUN MAJlD
    O Allah send prayers upon our Master Muhammad; and the family of our Master Muhammad As you sent prayers upon our Master Abraham; and upon the family of our Master Abraham. O Allah send blessings upon our Master Muhammad; and the family of our Master Muhammad As you sent blessings upon our Master Abraham; and upon the family of our Master Abraham.
    4) Raise your hands to ear level and pray for the deceased: ALLAHUMMA GhFIRLI HAYYINA WA MAYYITINA WA ShAHIDINA WA GhAlBINA WA SAGhlRINA WA KABlRINA WA DhAKARINA WA_UNThANA; ALLAHUMMA MAN~AHYAYTAHU MINNA FAH YIHI ‘ALA-L-ISLAM; WA MAN TAWAFFAYTAHU MINNA FA TAWAFFIHI ALA-L-IMAN. ALLAHUMMA HADhA ‘ABDUKA_WA BNU ‘ABDIK; KhARAJA MIN_RAWHI D-DUNYA WA SACATIHA; WA MAHBUBUHU WA AHIBBA^UHU FIHA; ILA DhULUMATI-L-QABRI WA MA HUWA LAQIH; KANA~YAShHADU AN LA ILAHA ILL A ANTA WAHDAKA LA ShARIKA LAK WA ANNA MUHAMMADAN ‘ABDUKA WA RASULUK; WA ANTA ‘ALAMU BIHI MINNA; ALLAHUMMA INNAHU NAZALA BIKA WA ANTA GhANIYYUN ‘AN ‘ADhABIHI WA QAD IFNAKA RAGhIBINA ILAYKA ShUF’A ‘A LAH; ALLAHUMMA IN_KANA MUHSINAN FA ZID FI IHSANIH; WA IN KANA MUSFAN FA TAJAWAZ ‘ANHU WA LAQQIHI BI RAHMATIKA RIDAK; WA QIHI FITNATA-L-QABRI WA ADhABAHU WA FSAH LAHU FI QABRIHI WA JAFI-L-ARDA ‘AN JANBAYHI WA LAQQIHI BI RAHMATIKA-L-AMNA MIN ADhABIKA HATTA TAB’AThAHU AMINAN ILA JANNATIKA YA ARHAMAR-RAHIMIN.
    O Allah forgive those of us who are alive and those who are dead, those present and those absent, those who are young and those who are old, those who are male and those who are female.
    O Allah let those of us You give life live by Islam and let those of us You take back die in a state of faith.
    O Allah, this is Your slave, and son of Your slave. He has left the zephyr of this world and it’s spaciousness, in which were the things and people he loved, for the darkness of the grave and that which he will meet. He testified that there is no God but You alone without a partner, and that Muhammad is Your slave and messenger. You know him better than we. Of all he has gone to remain with You and You are the best to remain with. He is now in need of Your mercy, and You have no need to torment him. We come to You in desire for You, interceding for him.
    O Allah if he did well treat him the better, and if he did wrong, disregard it and through Your mercy show him Your good pleasure and protect him from the trial of the trial and torment of the grave. Make his grave spacious for him and distance the earth from his sides, and through Your mercy protect him from Your torment until You raise him and send him safely to Your paradise, O Most Merciful of the Merciful.
    5) Raise your hands to ear level and say: ALLAHUMMA LA TAHRIMNA AJRAHU WA LA TAFTINNA B’ADAHU WA GhFIR LANA WA LAH;
    ‘ O Allah do not withold from us his recompense, nor try us after him, but forgive us and him.
    6) Finish by dropping the right hand & looking right, then dropping the left, looking left Say each time: “AS-SALAMU ‘ALAYKUM WA RAHMATU-LLAH” ”May the Peace of Allah be upon you and His Mercy

Here is the etiquette for praying the funeral prayer:
If you are not physically present with the body of the person who passed, then you need to make the intention “To pray 4 takbirs of the funeral prayer for someone unseen/not present.”
The funeral prayer has no bowing & no prostrations.
The funeral prayer consists of raising one’s hands to shoulder level (like how we usually begin salat) while saying takbir (“Allahu Akbar”) 4 different times. After each takbir there is a special prayer as indicated on the sheet below.
The prayer ends after saying all of the dua’ by turning your head to the right, saying “as-salaamu alaykum wa rahmatu’llah” & dropping the right hand, then doing the same on the left.
Then you may make extra supplication, trusting in Allah if you like.

Update 2015: My father passed away on April 6, 2015.  When I asked my Sufi community to pray surah Ya Siin for my father, there was some discussion as to whether this was proper since my father was not a Muslim.  I called Sidi in Jerusalem on April 23, 2015 and asked if it was okay to pray Ya Siin and ask for forgiveness for my father even though he was not a Muslim.  He said, “Sure.  Why not.”   You can check out the comment section below as to what in the Qu’ran led to this question in the first place.

Update 2016: Since Sidi passed away on November 11, 2015, you can still make a sacrifice in the name of the person who passed away.  Go to Shadduli Center, click on Support Us.  You can make a donation and specify what the donation is for.