Our relationships are one of the highest priorities in our lives.  Most problems in relationships come from partners desiring different things.  In a holy relationship, the connection to God is the foremost concern.   Below is a tool to identify where the bond of love may need strengthening.

1. Sincerity – The partners in any relationship must be willing to work together to have a real relationship in God.
2. Communication – Partners must speak openly and freely about whatever is in their hearts.  Telling each other what they want and need in a safe and loving way.
3. Containment – Each partner must be able to contain the feelings and desires of the other.  This means that they are able to make space in their heart for whatever their partner is feeling and hold them in a responsible way.  This means holding them with love, mercy and no judgment.  See them through Allah’s eyes.
4. Self responsibility – Both partners need to come out of blame and take responsibility for their feelings.
5. Surrender – Each partner must be willing to let go of what they want and accept what God wants.
6. Repentance – Each partner must ask for forgiveness from God and clean themselves of their personality desires.
7. Forgiveness – Each partner must forgive the other and walk closer in unity.  Letting go of past grievances and allowing the relationship to be born new.
8. Deepening in God – Each partner must be willing to surrender and connect more deeply with God.

When working with couples, it is important not to take sides.  Knowing how to respect and be open to each partner’s situation creates the vessel of healing.  Remember you are supporting the couple to have honest dialogue and helping them rediscover their love.   Ultimately we are seeking the will of God and helping our clients surrender to it.  Our hearts become the bridge between God and our clients, allowing them to return to the unity.  When God is at the center of any relationship His Love, Peace, and Compassion fill the lives of the couple.  Below are the steps of Relationship Healing.

1. Invocation – Pray that God guides the healing and ask for permission to heal in God’s name.
2. Facilitate Communication – Help each partner express his or her issues.  Most couple don’t know why they aren’t happy.  Work with them to discover what is going on and encourage them to put all their “cards on the table”.
3. Light of God – Pray that Allah shine the light on the partner that needs to make the first change.  Use whatever healing technique you are shown to heal that issue.  Allow yourself to be guided in the healing.  It may start with one person and then move to the other.
4. Surrender – Work with the client’s issues until the order of God is clear for the relationship.  Help the clients to surrender first to God and then to each other.  This may be a gradual process that deepens after each issue is cleared.
5. Sealing the Work – When the work is complete, a prayer of thanks and blessing for the couple is used to help anchor the work.  Saying the Fatiha is highly recommended.