Returning hate for hate (or any negative emotion for negative emotion) only keeps us stuck in darkness. When you see people spewing anger, violence, or hatred, consciously connect to your heart. Use your intention to send them love. They need love more than anything else in that moment. That is the only way to affect change. You can bring peace to the world by sending love to each person you meet and then treating them as if you love them! You can genuinely love them by connecting to the beauty they carry in their soul, regardless of what their egos are doing.
Sidi told me years ago, when I took Shahada, that I am a Pole for Peace and Love (Salam and Mahaba). I kind of believed him regarding the Peace part. I felt Peace sometimes and could connect. The Love part, ehhh – not so much. Never felt loved growing up, and didn’t think I was very good at expressing it as an adult. I thought that since I didn’t have very good role models for love when I was a child, I really didn’t know how to love.
Since working with Sidi, when I encountered situations where someone was angry or upset in some way, my typical response was to go into Remembrance. I began praying in order to form a layer of protection around me so their hurtful comments and actions wouldn’t hurt me. I was still coming from a place of fear and in need of protection. I was mostly thinking about me and not about helping the other person, other than asking Allah how to help them calm down (so I wouldn’t feel threatened).
Basically I have been waiting until I felt the Love inside of me before I was ready to become a Pole for Love. Then suddenly a few days ago it hit me. What am I waiting for? I can be a Pole for Peace and Love without feeling it first. After all, I know that our feelings come from emotions, which come from our pictures/illusions. Our feelings are not always the best to guide us.
What came to me next was what I wrote in the very first paragraph. This was how to be the Pole for Love. By being the Pole for Love! Well, duh! It was so obvious, but I didn’t really get it until now. I had understood it on an intellectual level before, but now I really got it with all of me. I am a Pole for Peace and Love when I transmit Peace and Love regardless of the circumstances. Not just when I doing healings, or when I’m with people that I like, but in every moment. Especially when I’m with people I don’t like, don’t agree with, or feel threatened by. (I know all you English majors, dangling participle.)
Right now, that means I need to consciously choose to go into my heart and send the person who I am scared of as much love as I am able. Connecting to their heart and seeing the beauty in their heart, even while they are yelling at me (because EVERYONE has beauty in their heart) will help the other person to connect to their own beauty. It is what will make loving them easier. And that is the only way I can even attempt to make things better. Hiding out while doing the Remembrance might make ME feel safer, but it isn’t going to change the world. (I can see Sidi smiling right now.)
Since this revelation I have been consciously choosing to send Love to every person as I encounter them. When I enter a building, I silently send Love to each person within the building. When I see all the political postings on FaceBook, I send love to the politicians and to the people who sent the post. I don’t know if I’m really helping them in the moment, but I’m certainly not hurting them. And I’m guessing that I’ll get much better at this sending the Love thing and connecting to the beauty in their heart as I continue to practice it. Until it becomes an automatic response within me.
When I got my master’s degree in Organizational Development, I was taught there are four steps to self development. The first step is that of unconsciously incompetent. You don’t know that you have a problem and are blind to making any changes. Other people are aware you have this blind spot, but you’re oblivious.
Step two is consciously incompetent. Now you realize where you have a problem and need to make changes, but you can’t seem to make them. This is the most painful step, but also the most important one! You can’t improve something until you realize and accept that you need to improve in that area. How we get to step two is usually through adversity and hardship According to James Keeley: “Adversity introduces us to ourselves. This means that when we are willing to face what upsets us about the events of our lives, we can become aware of the ways in which we are unconsciously a part of what we are struggling with. The negative implications we believe upsetting situations represent reveal the things we must change within ourselves in order to be force for peace.”
Step three is consciously competent. Now you understand what you need to do differently. You can do it, but you have to consciously choose to do it. Leading to step four, unconsciously competent. Now you know what to do and you just automatically do it without a second thought. It has become a habit.
Alhamdulillah, I think I’ve reached step three, consciously competent. If I keep at it, it will eventually become a habit that is hardwired into my being. Then I will have reached step four, unconsciously competent. Yeah! I will finally understand that I am a Pole for Peace and Love regardless of how I feel or what my mind might think.