Growing up I was an unhappy person.  Never felt like I belonged here.  Often wished I would just die.   I tried all the traditional things that I thought would fill that hole in my heart.  Married young (age 17), that didn’t do it.  Had a couple of kids, that wasn’t it either.  Tried religion; became one of Jehovah’s witness at age 16 because they seemed like they treated each other like family.  That didn’t help either. After 10 years in an unhappy marriage, I divorced my husband.  The church disfellowshipped (excommunicated) me because I didn’t have “proper grounds” for a divorce.  I was so angry with God at this point that I refused to pray for the next 10 years even though I had always talked to God, even as a small child.

I next decided to get an education so I could support myself and my 2 children without needing a man or the government to do it for me. I graduated from Iowa State University with a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering in 1989, from American University with a master’s in organizational development in 1994, and a doctorate in clinical hypnotherapy from American Institute of Hypnotherapy in 1997.   I also studied Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) to the master level.  I was in therapy on and off during this phase of my life.  I did Tony Robbins’ firewalk workshop 3 times.

Energy medicine and spiritual healing was next on my list.  I was certified as an “Angel Practitioner” by Doreen Virtue; attended Barbara Brennan’s School of Healing,  and did workshops with Rosalyn Bruyere. Can you feel the frantic feel to my constant search for an answer to why I was here?  I was also looking for all “the answers” outside of me.

One of the Barbara Brennan healers that I personally used invited me to come to a free workshop by Dr. Ibrahim Jaffe.  He is a medical doctor who has a school that teaches Sufi healing, the University of Spiritual Healing and Sufism (USHS).   I attended the free workshop in 2000 and promptly signed up for his 3 year school. This is what finally led me to meet Shaykh Muhammad al-Jamal ar-Rifa`i as-Shadhuli.  Sidi Muhammad definitely changed the course of my life.  He is an enlightened Sufi Master who lives in Jerusalem.  He travels to the United States usually every summer.  USHS’s teachings are based on Sidi’s guidance. Sidi brought me back to being in a close relationship with God. To view many videos about USHS, click here.

Sidi taught me why bad things happen to good people and why good things happen to bad people.  His teachings brought meaning back into my life.  I quit looking for an answer “outside” of me and began to find the peace “inside” of me.  Sidi gave me the Sufi name Jumanah.  He said it means “the essence of purity, like polished silver”.  He also told me I was a pole for peace and love, qualities that my soul carries deeply .  During this exploration of my soul I have had many ecstatic experiences.

While I was going through the many difficult experiences of my life, I didn’t like them, didn’t want them, and desperately wished they would go away.  Today I understand that these difficult experiences were exactly what my soul needed to do its work.  If my relationships had been fulfilling and I was happy, I would have stopped my personal growth right there.  There would have been no need for me to continue to search for meaning and purpose in my life.   Today I am grateful for those experiences for bringing me to a close relationship with God.

Twenty some years ago I remarried.  My husband, Bob, gets guidance from his inner wisdom.  He calls this voice, Zakariyyah, the Sufi name Sidi gave him.  One day he got a message telling him about the 2 by 4 question.  He had no idea what that meant.  When he asked what the 2X4 question was, this is the response Zakariyyah gave him.  “What is the gift?  Everything is a gift.  Given to you, by you, for you.”

Unfortunately most of us, including me, get caught up in the “wrapping paper” the gift comes in.  We spend all our time complaining that we don’t like what the gift is wrapped in and never bother to actually open the gift.

I attained a Masters of Divinity in Spiritual Healing & Counseling Degree based on Sidi’s teaching.  Allow me the honor and privilege to be your mentor on your path of spiritual growth.

I now invite you to get more deeply acquainted with the beauty of your own soul by studying the Sufi path.  You can do this in a structured way by following the readings and homework assignment schedule.

When Moses conversed with God, he asked, “Lord, where shall I seek You?” God answered, “Among the brokenhearted.” Moses continued, “But, Lord, no heart could be more despairing than mine.” And God replied, “Then I am where you are.”

– Abul-Fayd al-Misri, The Kashf al-Mahjub

My husband,Zakarriyah collaborates with an artist, Roweena Hart.  Together they can “see” soul colors and Qualities that an individual carries.  Roweena creates soul pictures in original art work.

Here is the soul picture she was guided to create for me.  My Sufi name is Jumanah (purity).  Sidi said I am a pole for Peace and Love.  And my husband says my most dominant Quality is Aliyy.  This artwork is based on these Qualities.

You can contact Roweena at roweenah@gmail.com if you’d like more information about her original soul artwork.